Lo tuyo es puro teatro: jugadores simuladores

Todos lo critican, todos lo aborrecen, pero lamentablemente ya es un clásico en el fútbol. Las simulaciones son parte del juego y muchos futbolistas tienen el descaro y la costumbre de hacerlas, aunque sean miles las personas que en vivo y por televisión se dan cuenta del engaño.

Pareciera que los estadios estuvieran llenos de francotiradores invisibles, porque en la cancha los jugadores caen como moscas, a veces sin motivo aparente, sin mediar golpe alguno, con retardo, a metros de un rival. Sufren desmayos repentinos, la mayoría de las veces como si llamas los envolvieran y rostizaran sus cuerpos.

Para el simulador tal vez su invento favorito es el golpe en la cara, llevándose las manos al rostro como queriendo detener una terrible hemorragia: si te rozan en la espalda, las manos a la cara; si te empujan en el pecho, las manos a la cara; si te llega un pelotazo en una pierna, las manos a la cara.

El simulador está en constante evolución y como “profesional” del engaño también involucra a parte de su equipo. Una de las maneras es al ir cayendo y ya en el piso, levantar la mano y sacudirla rápidamente y no para saludar a algún familiar en la tribuna, sino para llamar al cuerpo médico y que rápidamente le quiten el insoportable dolor que lo tiene al borde de la muerte.

El teatro en el fútbol va a seguir existiendo y los simuladores seguirán apareciendo, pero ese piscinazo, ese grito desgarrador y esa cara de pobre incomprendido, nunca podrán opacar a una linda gambeta, una espectacular chilena y a una red que se infla por un golazo.

Algunos reconocidos simuladores que juegan actualmente:

Francisco Rojas (La Serena)
Sebastián Rusculleda (Wanderers)
Neymar (Santos)
Diego “Burrito” Rivero (Boca Juniors)
Ángel Di María (Real Madrid)
Luis Suárez (Liverpool)
Ezequiel Lavezzi (Napoli)
Argen Robben (Bayern Munich)
Didier Drogba (Chelsea)

¿Conoces algún otro?

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